Someday
by IdleWit
Summary: Jack and Elizabeth talk about the death of a loved one, what is left behind and if it's really worth it to follow them.


**SOMEDAY**

The pirate captain stood there awkwardly, balancing his weight from foot to foot, patting his tricorn hat against his leg. He pretended to be inspecting the golden clock upon the mantle, which had in actual fact caught his eye and his hands were itching to slip it into his pocket as he had so many of the Turners many household objects before. He was trying to look anywhere but at the grieving woman sitting upon the chair in the fancily made up room, her eyes red with weeping, a small doll held in her hand. He really hadn't meant to come at such a horrible time, he had needed a few things from the port, and thought he would pop in, have a talk with Will and Elizabeth, maybe entertain the children until he tired of them and relieve the families stores of a few rum bottles and some ornaments which were of value. Of course what he had come to was a grieving home, the little one, Dorris…Daisy yes that was it, Daisy had gone on.

What Jack remembered of her was a small pale child. She wasn't strong or made for the Caribbean's climate; they had aptly nicknamed her Daisy for she was like one of those delicate flowers, bruising easily from the touch. She was nothing like the constantly running Will, the fiery Rosy or the contemplative Tom. And she was extremely different to Henry her younger brother who was inquisitive and quant, quite an entertaining little chap in Jack's opinion.

Of course that was what made Will and Elizabeth cling to her even more, because if Jack who only vaguely knew her could see she wasn't entirely meant for this world then they her parents must have known that for a long while. Of course being aware something was impending and the thing actually happening were two entirely different things, Jack knew this, and he knew the blow to Will and Elizabeth was no less then if she was of good health and had suddenly taken ill. He hadn't really experienced a blow like that, and he felt somewhat like an intruder upon the somber house hold.

Jack knew he was somewhat of a selfish made up creature, he provided a performance for people, entertained and entranced them until they loved or at least admired him. He took from people, but Jack rarely ever returned the favor of love or admiration, he wasn't like other people and had never been able to relate. This was what made him feel fond of his relationship with Elizabeth and Will. They knew him and never expected anything more of him then the little he deemed to provide. They ensured the children knew that Oncle Jacq as they called him, wasn't going to be a regular visitor. They attempted to soften the blow when he did leave, leaving him free, and enabling him to enjoy his little time there and then feel no guilt as he sailed away when it pleased him. They never commented upon his irregular visits, taking it in their stride although he often stirred up trouble for them, among the children or with Norrington and Elizabeth's father. The little or no obligations tied to their friendship made Jack visit them oftener then he usually would have, rather then every fifteen years or so, he often visited at least once a year, or every couple, though he ensured to make his visits brief and vague.

He once tried to convince Will and Elizabeth to come with him, he knew that they still craved the sea life, had seen it upon their faces and what the children told him of how they were told all the pirate stories, and played pirates themselves. But they had declined saying the children were too young to be go and too young to be left. Whenever Jack queried when he remembered, it was always someday and he knew they were staying behind for that girl Daisy. They were probably afraid that if they did go and left the children with someone she might pass while they were away, and they could not bear that, at least that was what Will suggested once.

Now Jack stood, feeling like an intruder he would have much rather left but could not bear to break the silence by opening the door and disturbing the grieving woman, it just didn't seem right to him. Finally his feet were getting a bit sore, so he decided to sit down, about to alight upon the nearest chair, he saw that it had a few objects upon it, items of the children's no doubt, play swords. He recognized the one with the chip which was Rosa's, when she had forced him to play swords and he had complied to stop her beggaring. She could be quite loud and rather energetic but now her squeels of delight were not heard, the children were scattered, in the large garden, thinking of their sister. He knew the little chap was somewhere with Will out there, and he cast a wistful glance towards the window, he did so want to see the little fellow who never failed to make him grin.

"Oh I'm sorry Jack, I'll get those," Elizabeth suddenly said, her voice hoarse. She quickly jumped up from her chair, noticing Jack as he was about to reach down and remove the swords so he could sit. She quickly bustled, a woman who just wanted something to distract her from the darkness of reality, and the gaping hole which seemed to be left within her. Jack jumped slightly and looked at her, he was unsure of what to do with Elizabeth in this state.

"The children are always throwing their things around," she said, as if attempting to have small talk, her voice unusually high and thin, it made Jack want to wince it was so false and wasn't Lizzy at all. "Oh look at this house it's a mess," she said looking around at the somewhat dusty room, then down at her rumbled dressing gown, she felt her knotted and loose hair. "I'm a mess," she said, looking at him, then the tears welled and breached her eyes and sobs began wracking her body. "I'm such a mess," she sobbed, moving towards Jack, he opened his arms awkwardly for her as she buried her face in his shoulder, her whole body shaking with pain.

"I…I just wish we had more time with her Jack," she choked, "I just….she was only so small…."

Jack attempted to pat her, trying to console although he had no idea how. He felt that he would have been a liar if he had said he knew, or that it was okay, so he kept his trap shut and said nothing, feeling extremely awkward and wanting to do something but not knowing what. His top was getting rather wet and never being once for hugs he wished it would end, but Lizzy continued to cry.

"Jack," she cried, "I just…I miss her so much…I almost wish I could follow her….Is that wrong Jack to wish that?" she looked up at her, the tears creating tracks down her cheek, her eyes red and her lips trembling.

"I don't know," he replied truthfully wishing he could say something which didn't sound so…small, "I don't know what to say love."

He had no experience in these rough and strange waters and was at a loss of how to comfort a mother, which Lizzy suddenly seemed to be. He knew that was what she was all these years but…he just never saw it that way, he'd always seen Will and Elizabeth as they had been when they'd fought Barbossa, and Davy Jones and finally the East India Trading Company. When they traveled so far and had done so much, he had seen them as the young naïve friends who he could manipulate and use to get out of a tight spot. But now he saw Elizabeth had changed somewhat, she'd become slightly softer, and cared for someone else in this world above her own or even Will's life, her children. It made Jack feel awkward because over all these years Jack had not changed one wit, and he almost felt he was being left behind as the two youngsters experienced more in life, it was almost the feeling he expected them to have when he left them behind when he sailed out of Port Royal all those times. Except unlike them who could merely follow him upon another ship it was impossible for Jack to follow them upon such a journey, Jack would always be Jack a pirate, a legend, but never mature or caring for someone above his own self. He felt rather unqualified to comfort Elizabeth and for once felt almost regret for the first time in his life that he could never be a normal person, having a home and a family. Then again if a family brought you this much pain then he'd rather not, after all that was why Jack never tied himself down, because he never wanted to experience something as tearing and deep as the death of a loved one.

"Did it hurt Jack?" Elizabeth suddenly queried, "Did it hurt to die?"

Jack didn't really remember what it had felt like, it was an extremely vague time, he had felt…almost like he fell into a sleep, except everything just stopped…just slowed and then it was black…or maybe white and Jack…he almost thought he had felt peace a contentedness, although he was not sure if he had imagined this particular part of death.

Jack looked down at Elizabeth, "Not at all love," he said, "It feels almost peaceful like." He didn't know if this was the exact truth or not, but he thought it was the kindest thing he could tell her. Elizabeth's eyes suddenly widened, her breathe hitched in her throat, Jack knew that look, an idea had taken hold of her and that never boded well from experience.

"Worlds end Jack," she whispered in excitement, gripping Jack rather painfully, "Why didn't I see it before, we can go to worlds end, we can save her, we know the way you and Barbossa have both died. It will be much easier this time, we have the_ both_ of you, we have_ you_ Jack, why didn't I see it before," her face became flushed, she referred to Jack's first mate back upon the Pearl, he rarely ever came with Jack to visit their old acquaintances. Her voice became higher as her mind became fever pitched with hope, she could do something she could save her little girl. She let go of Jack, the tears stopped falling, she began to pace the room, picking up clothes here and there Jack almost had the impression that she was intending to pack.

Jack almost felt a wrenching in his heart, he hated this hated Lizzy being like this, he felt horrible…almost like a hole had opened up in _him_. Pity would have filled him if he didn't know that would be the worst thing to show Lizzy or to feel for her, the strong adventurous woman had never been able to take pity.

The thing was that he Jack had thought of Worlds end already, he wasn't heartless after all. When he had been waiting in the entrance after Henry had rushed out calling for Daisy and Will had told him of her death, it was the first thing that had popped into his mind, worlds end. But Jack's was a calculating mind and not being consumed in grief he was able to think as clearly and as rapidly as he always did. He had known as soon as he thought of it that it would not work. After all the only reason they had been able to reach _him_ at worlds end was because he hadn't died, not exactly, he had been sent to Davy Jones locker, or purgatory whatever one like to call it. He knew the child would have probably moved on to whatever was after, he liked to think a child like that would go to heaven but not actually experiencing death of that finality he didn't actually know what was after.

He knew Barbossa had died, but the man remembered nothing of the experience all he knew was that somehow Tia Dalma had brought him back. Jack knew that Tia Dalma would not help them this time though, she helped people along destinies path but when a person was meant to be dead she would do nothing for them. Besides she had told Jack last time that she would be doing him no more favors. Jack knew they would get nothing from her. He also knew that the little Daisy was gone, she wasn't ever meant for this world, and she did not stay long you could not fight fate against a sentence such as final as that. Even if they found a way to bring her back she was far too weak, she would not be able to stay and cling to life.

Jack knew all this yet he did not know a way to relay it to the mother, frantically moving and pacing in front of him, the hope building within her. So he stood and watched her as she moved within the uncharacteristically dark room, the heavy curtains being drawn over the large windows. Maybe he should just humor her, it would be a way to get her and Will upon the ship. Maybe all they needed was a bit of fresh air a bit of freedom and they'd be able to forget…or at least move on. Then what, he thought, then we'll get to worlds end and find nothing there, then all their hopes will rip and tear and it will be worse then it was before. To pretend like there was hope was worse then having none at all, and Jack couldn't do that, he was a selfish man but he was never a cruel one.

"Jack your ships hidden obviously," she said, still pacing with sudden energy, "You can take us to it, me and Will. We know the way, over the waterfall and there she'll be. We have to go Jack," she said suddenly turning to face him, "We must go get Will, we can't leave her in that horrible place a moment longer, she'll be so afraid, she never was very strong. "

"Love," Jack interrupted her tirade awkwardly, he believed she suspected that it was no use, but it wasn't any easier to try and tell her.

"What?" she said turning and looking at him impatiently, "We can't stand here talking we must hurry."

"Love," he began with no idea how to continue as she looked at him expectantly, "What about the other children?"

Her eyes widened as if she'd momentarily forgotten about them, all her concentration had been on her lost daughter. "We.." she began slightly shaken. "Father can take care of them, I know Norrington will help him," she quickly composed herself brushing it aside and fixing the problem, avoiding the real one.

"Lizzy," he said using his pet name for her. They'd been through a lot over the years, when each of them had helped the other, they had become stronger then friends, he knew he had to force her to face the truth, "She might not even be at Worlds end."

"I can use your compass Jack," she said impatiently, "That's all, it will point me to wherever she is. Give me your compass," she held out her hand expectantly for it, waiting for him with raised brows.

"No," he said, his hand moving to the compass at his belt.

"Jack," she said, her eyes flashing slightly with desperation, "Give it to me."

"No," he said, "I won't and you know it won't work. You said it yourself she was weak. She wasn't meant for this world, she died Lizzy you have to…"

She leapt forward and her hand hit his face before he knew what had happened. The sound seemed to reverberate around the room, she hit him so hard a white hand mark appeared upon his cheek, his face pushed to a side. She backed away from him, her eyes wide, she held the hand that had hit him, and turned away from him as if trying to escape the reality of her actions. Over all the years, over all they'd been through, even through Jack's betrayal and cynicism when he refused to accept her help or return it she had never slapped him. There was silence for a while as the slap lingered in the air between them, both as shocked as the other.

"Leave Jack," she finally said, breaking the impenetrable silence, her voice was quiet and barely above a whisper, "Just leave."

He turned his head, looking at her back, then glancing at the door. He was sorely tempted to take her up on that offer, the door was there inviting. He held his injured and stinging cheek, moving towards the door he opened it, about to walk out and planning to never return his wonderful friendship was not made to withstand deaths and did not give comfort, when he heard the slightest of noises.

He turned to look at the figure of Lizzy within the dark room, her shoulders were shaking slightly, and he heard small sobs once more. Jack turned back and attempted to literally turn his back upon her, he was a pirate after all, but he found he could not let go of the door. He gave an inward sigh and rolled his eyes then promptly turned, he may not have been much of a comforter or friend but he was certainly not heartless and he could not just leave her like that.

He moved towards the curtains in a few unsteady strides and pulled them open, allowing sunlight to bathe into the room. He turned to Elizabeth blinking slightly in the glare, but she had not turned though she surely must have felt the warmth spreading upon her back. He looked at her at a loss for what to do, then saw the doll she had placed gently and carefully upon the chair she had been seated on, before she rose. He picked it up and looked down at it; it was quite pretty really, brown glass eyes, black eyelashes and curly brown hair. It looked slightly like the little girl who had owned it. Jack took the doll and moving carefully towards Elizabeth ready to avoid another slap, or maybe worse a punch he carefully placed it in her hands.

She looked down tearily upon the small doll, and then clasped it close to her as if it was the child she had lost. She turned and looked at Jack somewhat guiltily, "I'm sorry," she said, he just bit back a retort along the lines of so you should be, settling instead upon rubbing his offended cheek and looking deeply hurt.

"Look love," he said, knowing he had to say something before she really lost it all, he hated to see her like this it wasn't right. "I was only trying to stop you from getting hurt or such things." She nodded, turning her gaze down to the doll.

"I just want so desperately to have her back," she whispered to Jack, "If just to hold her, just one more time, I wouldn't ask for long, just another minute with her Jack.." she looked up, "Just only one more minute."

"Aye, but once you get that time it'd just be worse and you'd agonise over having another minute, two, three, four, until you obsess about having her back forever." He spoke the truth thinking of when he had lost the Pearl, he knew that humoring Elizabeth wouldn't make her feel better, it would just hurt her more. "You got to stop obsessing over her love, don't stop grieving or thinking of her…but you got to stop obsessing over getting her back.

You're other children, Will their all worried for ya, I can tell. Knowing you probably walked around the house pretending everything's fine and dandy. You don't gotta pretend it never happened, but you've gotta show your grief, you gotta do it and you have to pull yourself together with your family, cause I'm supposing you need them and they need you, you lot both need each other. That hole inside of you, obsessing ain't gonna fill it love, it's just going to make it bigger." She looked at him, slightly shocked.

"Jack how do you know this?" she queried looking at him, "How can you tell?"

"I have vague idea bout families, from my travels," he said waving a careless hand in the air.

"No, I mean what…what I'm feeling inside," she said, holding the doll to her chest. "The empty space…the hole…"

"Oh," said Jack, colouring slightly, what was he supposed to say to that, he was comparing her loss of a child with the time he lost his ship. He didn't know how she'd take that not in her grief though he found it entirely reasonable. Then again loving a child…loving anything was never reasonable, like a parent wishing to do anything if just to get one more minute with their lost child, so with this reasoning he took the plunge.

"You know I sold my soul to Davy Jones for the Pearl," he said, she nodded just like one of the children listening to his fabricated tales, except this time for her he wouldn't fabricate it, just this once. "It wasn't cause I took the fancy or because I just wanted a fast ship, like I tell your little kiddies. It was more then that, I used to own the Black Pearl without fish faces help, used to be its Captain a merchant sailor I was," he looked down as if ashamed of this, which he was slightly, "Course then Beckett had to burn my bloody ship."

Elizabeth looked up at this, "Why did he burn it?" she queried.

Jack waved his hand, then sighed as he saw her curious face, "Slaves," he said not really wanting to tell this part of the story, not particularly liking peoples reactions, or insight into him.

"He wanted me to transport slaves, and I wouldn't, not that. Don't ask me why, I'm just stupid I suppose. Leastways my ship ended up burning in front of me and I dunno…it was like I was burned up on the inside. And then I escaped Beckett but all I could think of was my ship, and I dunno I suppose I just wanted to drown with it, I couldn't live without it, like a big empty black chasm within me. The Black Pearl was all I had back then.

So I went to where it went down and I dived and I just kept on diving, I dunno what I was thinking to achieve, I think I just wanted it to end is all, so I wouldn't feel so empty no more. And then the tide came and I was drowning. And then Davy Jones came and I thought the same thing you just did love, I thought I would do anything if only to have the Pearl back." He had almost become lost, remembering that moment once more, but seeing Elizabeth's contemplative look he quickly cleared his throat and moved on in a false cheery voice.

"But now we've all learnt the valuable lesson then 'anything' will come back and destroy everything that you made from it. It's not worth it love 'anything', you have to look at what you have left. I know it ain't the same and I ain't a parent and all, I'd never want to be, but…" he had nothing to add to this, his story trailing off.

He didn't look at her, he never told anyone that story, the true version of it and how he really had felt. There was silence from Elizabeth, he didn't dare glance up at her, sure she was ready to hit him once more, or worse didn't even want to look a man in the face who equated a ship with the loss of their child.

He cleared his throat feeling extremely awkward as he did look up, Elizabeth had her back to him once more, this time her shoulders were not moving and not a sound escaped her lips. He assumed she was disgusted with him, and there were mixed emotions within him, he was slightly relieved because he would finally be able to beat a hasty retreat, but he was filled with more regret, because he knew now he'd never be able to enter the Turner house hold again and he would miss a lot more then the rum, though he tried to convince himself he wouldn't.

"I'll just go then shall I," he said slightly awkward quickly turning to leave. He wanted to retreat before his resolve wavered and he found himself being slapped once more. He was almost at the door when she spoke.

"You've never told anyone else that story, have you Jack?" she queried in an odd voice. Jack contemplated once more just racing through the door, but instead he found himself turning against his better judgment.

"No love," he said, watching her and treading carefully, cautious of what she was aiming at, "I haven't"

Suddenly she turned and gave him another hug, though a few tears did escape it was considerably less wet then before, and she wiped them away this time. Jack withstood it rather awkwardly until she pulled away, she attempted to settle her gown and her hand went to her hair, pushing back the stray curls as she was so used to doing. She gave a rather watery smile and one of her hands went to Jack's hat, taking it from his hands and settling it straight upon his head, his hand automatically went up and cocked it slightly to the side.

"Are you telling me the truth Jack," she asked, smiling sadly.

"Every last word love," he said giving a small grin.

She almost would have laughed at this, but instead she looked down upon the doll, she settled its little dress, then laid it gently upon the nearby chair.

"Will it ever go away?" she queried as she straightened, "The emptiness."

Instead of telling her that he would not know, or that it was a fickle thing, or any such thing which flittered in his head as a response he said what he knew she wanted to hear. "It will get better someday."

"Thank you Jack," she finally said, as the silence extended. He was only half listening to her, his concentration now turning to the golden clock upon the polished mantle. She knew that by tomorrow the clock would have mysteriously disappeared, like many things Jack paid attention to within the house.

"For what love?" he queried absently.

"For not leaving," she said simply, his eyes snapped to her and he finally nodded. He knew what she meant and that was enough…_had_ been enough.

"Now," she said, reaching for the compass that hung at his side she snapped it open, "Lets find Will." The small red arrow pointed towards the window, to the beautiful green garden outside, and her living children and husband who were within it.

Jack had to go back into the house for one of his obscure effects though Elizabeth knew he had not left anything behind and he like she suspected did not return. Elizabeth hadn't expected him to stay, but she hoped that after this he would return some day as he always had. She was uncertain upon this point, unlike all the other years she had known, but the only thing she could do was hope and she did with all her being.

Elizabeth talked with her children and her husband for the first time since her little girl's death. When they retreated to their bedrooms as night fell, exhausted in all possible ways she found she could not sleep and her mind turned to her child's small doll. Leaving the heavy slumbering Will she walked like a ghost barefoot downstairs and into the parlor room.

Its curtains were still open and she had a view of the garden shimmering ethereally in the moon light. She expected to see the clock gone but instead it was still there ticking and next to it lay the doll, a small flower upon it. She moved closer and saw it was a small daisy, so pale and delicate. She brushed it with her hand and picked up the red card lying beside it, tears pricking her eyes. She read it and a laugh, for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, escaped her lips. And in what was a while she felt like their was something more beyond this pain, that once she healed there was something to look forward to, to prevent her constantly staring back. She propped the card up upon the mantle and picked up the doll and daisy, stopping at the doorway she glanced back at the card. She could just read the curly and flourished writing upon it as it shone bathed in the moonlight. It read:

_I feel that someday might be coming up soon._

_You lot better start remembering how to be honorable pirates and be ready next time I visit._

_Then maybe we can take a voyage, a proper one, like old times, someday…_

_Capt. J.S_

After one last glance at the exotic red card, its writing and style just like the person who had written it she turned and proceeded back up to bed, to her husband and children, the daisy and doll held tightly in her hands. She knew now that she was not betraying her daughter, because she would never forget her, and she found herself looking forward to all of them…all of those some day's which she knew _now _one day would come.

**Random one shot just popped into my head, completely out of character, dramatized and sickingly sentimental, a bit depressing too. I think it's pretty hashed, please review and tell me what you think **

**Sairra : p**


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